If we observe our life closely, we will realize that at every step, we are learning and progressing. All the experiences of life that we go through are meant to be lessons for our own soul growth. Then it's a different thing if we have learned them or not, and if we do not learn them, we will keep circling in that experience again and again and that's where we say repeated patterns of life happen. The moment we get the realization of that pattern, we will be able to break through the chains of those tough repeated patterns in life.
If I have to evaluate my life patterns, the major ones, then one such thing clearly stands out and that is health care. I have been circling around in this area in all possible scenarios whether self or other close family members. When I was very young, it was my own health. I was a premature born baby with Asthma and till the age of 13 I was on and off down with respiratory issues. When I was stable then it was my father, who developed a brain tumor and he had many other health complications and I was always in and out of hospital with him.
At that time, I had no realization of these things and it was just going on. After I got married soon my father passed away and a new chapter began in my life, it was then about my Mother in law's ill health, She had kidney issues, I was in and out of hospital with her. It was just not limited to her, it also got extended to her family. Her brothers and sisters would also come to our place if they had to get any medical treatment done, and I was tending to them as well. For a long time, I had no realization of these patterns. It was like I was attracting all the sick people in my life who I had to take care of. Once a year was a definite hospital stay with some one or the other. I was not liking it, but at the same time I was not able to run away from that responsibility also.
5 years ago, my mother-in-law passed away and then I felt like I was done with all of this sickness and hospital things. But it was not that way, immediately after she passed away, I was taken down by severe Lumbar spinal stenosis and for almost 4 months I was in severe pain and finally recovered with surgery. And I thought now this is over, but it was not that way again. In a few months' time my hubby was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis. For 2 years there were a lot of complications with his health and last year for 5 months we were in hospital with him.
After that it has been stable for me. I am not exactly sure if these cycles have ended or not. Though I feel it has, I have come a long way in this journey of tending to sick people. Before I had a lot of frustration while I was doing it, but in the last 10 years, since the time I started my journey in the healing space, I have had a more empathetic approach. The frustration is no more and overall, I have understood the importance of good health. Me and my family have made drastic changes in our diet and lifestyle all revolving around a healthy life. My Son is also studying Nutritional Science and he keeps guiding us.
I do realize and understand that this is not normal, these are some patterns of my life which keep coming back to me in cycles and till the time I do not address it from the root level, they will keep recurring. Mentally I have been working with myself to stop associating myself with sick people mindfully, which previously I was doing and that's where I was attracting many sick people in my life who I had to keep tending to. And to help neutrally without getting emotional and getting attached to anyone I learned healing for self and others. This learning journey taught me a lot about breaking these patterns.
I understood that I had to accept this wholeheartedly and not run away from it, which I was doing all the time till my mother-in-law passed away. I would feel irritated and frustrated and lose my patience at times, and that would happen even with myself when I was sick. But last year when my hubby was sick, somehow this feeling did not come up. I was all into it tending to him wholeheartedly. I had accepted his situation and mentally I was strong, all I could feel was love for him while taking care of him. Probably because he is my closest and means everything to me. In the last 1 year I have been away from all illnesses and hospitals. This makes me believe that somewhere I have been able to cut and free myself from these repeated cycles of life.
Only time will tell if these cycles of my life have ended or not.
Thank you for visiting my blog. 👼🏻👼🏻💖💖🌹🌺🌸
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Originally posted here: https://hive.blog/awareness/@nainaztengra/repeated-patterns-of-life-and-lessons-we-learn-from-them
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