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A post of two parts. In the first part, I'll try to illustrate what a psychological manipulator looks like.
In the second part, I'll use the first part as a template, using myself as an example of the psychological manipulator ...or not, rather. Note: I've been _accused_ of it many times. Many times it was very true. Other times not at all. By using myself as an example it might help you, (hopefully) to differentiate, and potentially spot manipulative individuals that _you_ interact with unknowingly. My times of using 'psychological manipulation' have a very direct correlation to my 'wealth accumulation' times.(when I was younger). This is one of the reasons that a consciously downsized to minimal living some years ago - _because_ of this change in myself. Money / power _can_ corrupt - it corrupted me. I might still be a twat sometimes - but now I'm an honest one. When my personality 'changed' (a mix of immature self delusion, insecurity, and ego) I made the decision to become my authentic self - and shed the many masks that I so seamlessly wore. _I grew up._ So that will be part two of this post...
#### ...PART 1. Psychological manipulation is not all bad. We all do it to one degree or another - However, the difference between the positive and negative aspects comes down to the _intent_ behind it. For example - If you persuade a child to do the washing up for a reward of some kind - that's psychological manipulation. If _the intent_ is to teach the child a solid work ethic, it's positive manipulation. It's then called called '***social influence***'. This is to differentiate between the two very different motivations. _If you're getting them to wash up because you're too lazy to do it yourself - that's a different scenario altogether_. ### ...The tricky part is identifying these individuals and discovering the motives behind the action. ##### Ok, what _is_ psychological manipulation? ##### A definition: ##### The exercise of exerting influence through mental distortion and emotional exploitation, with the intention to seize power, control, that benefits or privileges, at the victim’s expense. _It is important to distinguish between healthy 'social influence' from psychological manipulation_. One of them is healthy interaction - and one is most certainly not. In psychological manipulation, one person is used for the benefit of another. The manipulator creates an imbalance of power, and exploits the victim to serve their own agenda. It can involve brainwashing , bullying, and is deceptive or abusive in it's nature. It's always used in an attempt to _control the behavior or perceptions_ of others. ##### Manipulative people believe that manipulating others, is the best way to get what they want. Manipulative behaviors often stem from an inability to accept responsibility for their own choices in life . Manipulation strategies can be a way to foist that 'running away from taking responsibility', off onto others (unconsciously). ### How to spot the signs...
##### _Manipulation of facts_. Lying, making excuses, being two faced, or blaming the victim for being the cause of their own victimization. (victim mentality). They may withhold relevant information - with an intent to mislead or hide real motivations. (They often do this by presuming to be 'the expert', thus exerting power over you). The manipulator hopes that by assuming this position, they can push through her or his agenda more convincingly. (Notice how often a persons education is brought up by them to 'legitimize' their position. The logical fallacy of 'an appeal to authority). ##### This technique of 'being the expert', can also be used to _avoid_ real fact finding and truth seeking - i.e creating smoke screens. This is done in an attempt hide flaws and weaknesses, and to evade closer scrutiny. The psychological manipulator is , in essence - a very weak (scared) individual, who relies on subterfuge and dishonesty to gain advantage over others - rather than honest and open discourse. To cover up their own weakness they can be very judgmental - so as to make you feel inadequate (this is projection). _(that word 'should' rears it's ugly head - yet again - it's a word that's used frequently by the psychological manipulator)_. The manipulator will always try to give you the impression that there’s something wrong with _you_. ##### _The Silent Treatment_. They'll quite deliberately not respond to you if they feel they've been slighted...They'll sulk like small children if they think that silence can be used as a form of power over you...(psychologically speaking, they _are_ still small children in many ways). ##### _Pretend ignorance_ . ...By pretending they doesn’t understand what you're saying, the manipulator - being passive aggressive - tries to _make you_ take on, what is _their_ responsibility. To _understand_ what you're saying is _not_ your responsibility. They'll use this tactic _when they have something to hide_, or fear that the mask they're wearing is in danger of being exposed.
##### _Victim hood_. This can be expressed in many ways so as to manipulate the emotions of others - all in an attempt to gain power over them. Exaggerated (or imagined) personal issues. Exaggerated (or imagined) health issues. Dependency. Deliberately projected frailty to elicit sympathy and favor. Playing weak, powerless, and 'being the martyr'. In terms of social media, look out for the 'woe is me' story, the 'how tough things are for me' narratives, the 'I struggled though but eventually...' stories. _Not all of these kinds of stories means that there's psychological manipulation at work_. Of course not - they may well be heartfelt accounts of dire experiences that people wish to share with others. This is why 'overarching themes' , over time, become something important to look for. When (in reference to social media environments) the person expresses an ongoing 'poor me' narrative - over an extended period of time, then _that_ is something worth noticing. _Is it someone going through a tough time, or is someone constructing a story to extract sympathy off others?_ (in the case of Hive - circle jerks and upvotes????). _Guilt and sympathy_ are two of the strongest human emotions, and can spur people into actions. Manipulative people know this. And _use it_, by using guilt (or sympathy) to coerce others into helping them. (upvotes for a poor victim?). ##### _The purpose of using 'victim hood' is to exploit the recipient’s good will, or guilty conscience, or to illicit the protective and nurturing instincts, in order to gain some profit in some way_. bear in mind... ##### Not all psychological manipulators are narcissists and sociopaths... ### ...but all narcissists and sociopaths _are_ psychological manipulators. ##### Darker tactics used in psychological manipulations.
...From 'gas-lighting'( which creates cognitive dissonance in the victim) to downright _'crazy-making' psychological warfare...the _aim_ is to foster self-doubt_ in the manipulated person. By trying to infuse victims with an extreme sense of anguish and confusion, they will then stop trusting themselves or their own memory, perceptions and judgments. _Some victims of these psychological attack may actually feel as if they are going crazy_. _I've experienced this one myself, first hand - and it isn't a pleasant experience._ (it's one of the reasons I studied aspects of psychology and philosophy and - more recently, statement analysis). Even when the 'crazy making' mental harassment ceases, the trauma of such experiences can leave a person with deep emotional stress if not addressed. _It's psychological terrorism_. ##### _Passive aggression._ Passive aggressive behavior is very common in the psychological manipulator. Those who use it may actively attempt to undermine certain behaviors - while at the same time - openly claiming to support or approve of them. _' Yaaay for free speech! ... but I'm censoring that !..._' ##### _Manipulators are very good at talking total nonsense_. They'll give illogical explanations to logical questions, they'll create smoke screens and confusion, rather than striving for clarity and openness. The _tools of manipulation_ that they use are based in vagueness and deception, therefor truth, logic,reason - and straight talking - is an area that they find very uncomfortable. They also love to make monologues - to surround you with their 'one way' talk- and will often try to _not have_ an authentic, two way, conversation. Beware the 'word salad' progenitor! By making generalizations, and issuing _intentionally vague_ statements, they may try to appear intellectual but in reality, they are _nothing_ but vague. _Their goal is to dismiss your opinions, not to find any answers_. They want to undermine your self-esteem in order to control. ##### They will employ deception, rationalization, justification, and even outright denial of any ill intent - when confronted with their behaviors. When you oppose these people directly, their anger levels will increase quickly. (especially if you do not relent). Their 'tolerance in conflict' is not very high.
#### Fighting the manipulator. Firstly -dominate your own emotions and keep a cool head! Watch for patterns of behavior between those you suspect, and other people. _Do your research_. Very often, the _reality_ behind the constructed facade can tell you all you need to know. Imagine working for the government, but screaming incessantly 'down with the government'. ...Or arguing for decentralization, but _supporting globalist agenda's_ and open borders - but as things stand right now countries and borders are the physical manifestation - the epitome - of decentralization.. ##### The fundamental contradictions - one exposed -between two conflicting realities are a good indicator of being in the presence of a psychological manipulator. _I know of people (for example) on social media - who talk incessantly about grass roots movements, and decentralization, but at the same time, are in bed with/have very close ties to - affirmed globalists megalomaniacs, and fervent supporters of 'top down' style bureaucracies! (such as the UN, and the EU)_. ### When ***'the T-shirt doesn't say how the mouth behaves'***... Beware!
Actions will _always_ speak louder than words, and because of this, the internet makes for _a perfect environment_ for the psychological manipulator (there's less 'real world' opportunities with which to compare the words - and real life - actions). ##### Relationships rely on trust. It's natural to trust (when not feeling threatened) and the internet provides that feeling of 'safety'. _The psychological manipulator is fully aware of this_. Lies and deception are second nature to these people and with the internet providing a 'distancing' between 'seeing' the actions and 'reading' the words, it allows them to perpetrate manipulations much easier. ##### Once you're aware of the manipulator, trusting this kind of person then becomes a foolish endeavor. ##### _'Lie to me once, shame on you - lie to me twice, shame on me'_ ...Just like with the malignant narcissists. (which are closely correlated to the psychological manipulator). You will rarely come out of these relationships unscathed. ....Other signs that your in the presence of a manipulator... They _love_ to listen to what you have to say. They _love_ to observe people. Don't be fooled into thinking this is down to 'being a good listener' - it's anything but. So they love to listen to you speak lots - but why? _...to establish where your weaknesses lie_. It predatory in nature - but dressed up as benevolence. (Many sales people do this when they 'prospect' you). _They attempt to establish a 'baseline' about your thinking and behaviors, to then be able to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses_. #### _Image is very important to the manipulator_. Motives - such as gaining voters - will usually remain hidden. The person may feel that expressing his true motive (honesty) reflects badly on him .
They feel that by being honest, it won’t give them what they want.(this is an expression of an underlying low self esteem. They see the authentic self as being _not good enough_, somehow). ##### Thus a _projected image_ is very important to them. MOTIVES... A motive is a person’s reason for doing something. An _ulterior motive_ is a motive that is different than the expressed or apparent motive. (The term denotes deception, or an intent to hide a person’s true motivation). ##### The psychological manipulator always has an ulterior motive. *** MY MOTIVATION - my _reason_ for posting these kinds of topics - is to try and get people _to think_. _What_ they think is secondary. _Getting people to think_ is my primary aim. My _other_ motivation is to make money off my posts. The two are not mutually exclusive but symbiotic, in nature. My writing benefits from the rewards. My rewards benefit from my improved writing. (hopefully). *** Part 2 coming up.
Originally posted here: https://hive.blog/hive-122315/@lucylin/psychological-manipulation-and-how-to-recognize-it-part-1-of-2
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