Embracing your dark side.... it's the only way to ever grow up...

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'The shadow', or the 'darkside' is a integral part of every individual, and often repressed. ##### What is 'the dark side?' Carl Jung said that an individual's proper goal is wholeness - and not perfection. The path to finding 'the wholeness' - of being a greater character to the self, lies in the _acceptance_ of all parts of the individual's psyche - including 'the dark side'. Integrating those elements of the psyche - ones that have been repressed and denied to the self - is key. Jung called it our 'unconscious shadow side'. Most people deny and repress their 'shadow side', as it's all that is deemed bad - or immoral- by society. It is the side of you that's frowned upon by family or peers. The traits that when (initially) expressed were ridiculed, shunned, criticized - or even met with some kid of punishment. Given that no moral code is ever perfect - can ever _be_ perfect - and that no family or peer group is perfect either - in adapting to the social world growing up, we not only repress what society see's as our 'destructive elements' in our personality (unbridled sexuality, anger, etc..), we also repress positive and life promoting characteristics, along with it. If our early attempts at creativity were ridiculed, or our natural competitiveness or ambition was felt as a threat by those close to us our personality would be inclined to repress these elements - into the unconscious shadow of ourselves. The social rewards of that repression - by being obedient, predictable, _likeable_ are easy to see. _Acceptance_. But at what cost? Our vitality, our 'lust for life' and, as such - our _'psychological wholeness'_. How do you integrate the dark side , in a healthy way? (One that is within _all of us_) "...the shadow ,when it is realized, is the source of renewal..".(E . Whitman) We _have to acknowledge_ our dark side - for what it is - to ever be able to utilize it. The 'unacceptable dark side' (which has always been there from childhood) must be examined.

##### It can be the 'forever elusive key ', that unlocks our potential. Conventional wisdom warns us that our dark side consists of all that is bad, and as such , need to overcome his very restrictive thinking before we can find the connection - and integration of our shadow side. Our dark side. ##### Developing 'the greater character'. Jung's assertion: _The integration of 'the shadow' leads to self-reliance_. It can also lead to disobedience of social norms - that's the cost of discovering 'the greater character' within yourself. Becoming _aware_ of the shadow side first - as an intellectual concept initially - and then - through introspection and reflection - we can discover what our own personal shadow _is_. Our family and peers in society judges 'good and evil', so when the inner dark side contradicts those learned values, our _constructed personality_ can be at odds with unconscious - darkside - morality. These internal moral conflicts can become psychologically troubling. _The individual ***has to examine*** the morality that we've been socialized into accepting_. An examination that is very likely - inevitable almost - to discover just how much hypocrisy, complacency , and fear underpins many of the moral rules that we obey. Rules that, if ignored - become a moral condemnation of the herd. The mob. The sheep. Condemnation is often driven by envy - and this includes being _envious of those individuals that are perceived to be thinking freely_. Thinking outside the box, can, and will be, seen as 'evil' in some way by the mob. The consensus of opinion. ...Collectivist thinking. To be evil - in the sense of committing heinous acts against our fellow man - is not the goal of those embracing their 'the dark side'. Self realization _is the goal_. By detaching ourselves from what we see as _the flaws of our societies 'moral codes'_ (so that we can re-connect with the parts of our personality that we suppressed when we were young) we will - by societies norms - become 'evil' in some way. Free thinking is evil - to those who envy that freedom, while at the same time voluntarily subjecting themselves to being in chains. _That_, is envy. If you are to ever truly _grow up_, it is unavoidable - essential - that the individual learns to _assimilate_ a certain amount of 'evil'. Why? _So as to be able to overcome the internal conflicts that are involved within the self._ The achievement of real independence involves adopting some of the values of society (and consciously examining them) and also securing _the fulfillment of those needs of the individual - the self_, at the same time. An individual who's values which may very well run _counter_ to societies values. ##### Doing evil (by societies prevailing moral code) might well be _doing good_, by your own standards.

Most people are _horrified_ at the thought of questioning or breaking the imposed moral codes - ones they were socialized into they believing. The value judgments - good and evil - imposed on them by their parents and state indoctrination camps - schooling. _Societies moral values are THE expression of the conformity mindset_. ##### They do not - cannot - understand that a morality can be sick and in need of overcoming - and so - for the common man and woman, even _the existence of 'the shadow'_ poses too great a threat to their fragile self-image. A self-image that was constructed over years of adjusting to who they _thought_ others expected and wanted them to be, and in doing so - conforming- thus never mustering up the courage to confront the elements of one's own shadow self. #### 'The darkside' _does not_ go away. It puts the individual in denial of their dark side, in the unfortunate position of _susceptibility_. An unwanted possession of sorts by 'the destructive side'. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The guilt ridden businessman who hires hookers to satiate unfulfilled sexual desires while away on business - and away from the family (for example). In public, most people are conscientiously moral but behind closed doors and in the comfort of home, their shadow can turn them into marionettes - _unconscious victims_ of addictions, compulsions, fits of irrational anger, and a multitude of other self-destructive behaviors. (_rationalizing the spending of 3 hours a day on low value social media, at the expense of quality familial time. ...?)_ Before truly growing up - The individual _has to realize_ that we possess a dark side. Carl Jung warned that by not being aware of having a dark side, you are declaring a part of your personality to be non-existent. _You are ***denying the existence*** of a part of yourself..._ If you get rid of qualities within yourself that you don't like - by denying that they exist - You become more and more _unaware_ of who you really are. Your own personal devils can grow inside - unobserved and unchecked, by yourself. Suppression and avoidance has now rendered them _invisible to the self_. Living in denial of your shadow only renders us prone to possession _by it_. (unconscious expressions becoming manifest in the real world). Integrating our shadow self into our conscious personality is crucial for psychological well-being. How to do this? Focus on the integration of one shadow characteristic that many of us need to integrate. Aggression in society. Aggression typically stimulates thoughts of violence and destruction. We focus only on one side of 'the aggressive coin'. There is a healthy form of aggression also - one that is imperative to our survival. This form of aggression fuels our sense of self, emboldens us in the face of fear and ignites the drive to explore. _Ambition_ is healthy aggression.

Aggression is not necessarily destructive at all - that's just our preconceived notion of it...Anger, rage, or hate, are all connected with it. But are not _'it'_. For many , aggression was frowned upon throughout the developmental years. Displays of aggression , whether constructive or not - were not met with encouragement. And mostly - were actively _frowned upon_. So, to adapt to our environment and minimize conflict we learn to repress our aggression into our 'shadow side' and thus _the self_ becomes (unconsciously) susceptible to anger, fits of rage, and even hate . _...three years of learning Thai boxing is a great way of turning unconscious rage into a ***healthy aggression***_. Psychotherapists have observed that many individuals have an unconscious murderous rage which they feel they must keep buried - out of fear of its destructive potential. Such a rage is like an unexploded bomb - which one _dares not ever touch_. ##### By _repressing_ our aggression into our dark side, we cannot integrate it in healthy ways . #### And if we cannot integrate _the whole of our selves_, then we can never, _ever_, truly grow up. _There is no effective technique for assimilating the shadow. The desire - need - for social conformity, prevents all but a very few, ever finding the inner courage needed, to face their own demons._ #### ...AND THUS, THOSE WITH THE COURAGE TO DO SO, ARE JUDGED 'EVIL' BY THE CONSENSUS OF SOCIETY. THE SHEEP. #### 'RULE BY CONSENSUS' - THE COLLECTIVE - DOES NOT FAVOR THE BRAVE, BUT ONLY THOSE WEAK OF MIND... AND CHARACTER...

Find the courage to start cleaning your heads!
Originally posted here: https://hive.blog/hive-122315/@lucylin/embracing-your-dark-side-it-s-the-only-way-to-ever-grow-up