I have lived with schizophrenia for 20+ years. In 1981 I was diagnosed at the age of 14 while being under suicide watch at Kelowna General Hospital. Do to my father’s constant fight with doctors; he refused to have me be on any medication. Both my father and step mother did not believe that I was hearing voices and instead blamed it on my constant day dreaming. They really did not know how to deal with me and instead chose not to do anything. Every 5 minutes my father would either ask me "What are you thinking about?" or he would say out of frustration “Quit your daydreaming!” So I suffered alone. We lived in the forest near Beverdell BC where the nearest store was 12km away. I stayed alone in my room away from everyone or I would often go sit by the river talking to the voices that were the friendlier ones. But day by day the friendly voices became mean and eventually pure evil. They always wanted me to either harm others or myself. I really had nowhere to escape and nobody to talk to. I eventually lost all of my friends including my best friend Robert. One day roughly 1 week after the voices began, I was sitting down across from my father at the dinner table. I was then ordered by one very dominant and condescending voice to punch my father. Before I even knew it, I had wound up and slugged him at full force directly hitting him in the nose and almost breaking it. He bled all over the table and himself. Without and rhyme or reason I hit him and he never got over it! Neither did I; I still live with that guilt from that day. The torment in my head kept me from falling asleep and then when I would finally fall asleep, the nightmares were just as bad. I wasn't just scared, I was literally terrified. There were no horror movies ever created that could top the fear I was going through and nobody as there for me. Nobody to talk to and nobody to comfort me. I was alone... I could not ever find peace and Life no longer loved me and I no longer loved it! How could I? I could never feel happy and to me I felt that death would be much better than life... even in hell! Roughly 3 or 4 months later, after my first episode with the voices I had been ordered once again from the voices to “light a candle and burn your parents if you really want us to leave!” Now standing at the foot of my parents bed while they were sleeping I held up a full kerosene lantern in my left hand while holding the lighter in my right. I paused for a minute, and then I questioned the voices saying, “You really aren’t planning to leave are you?” You promised when I hit my dad and you didn’t!”, “I don’t believe you!” then they laughed at me. I then left my parent’s bedroom and that is when I decided that I would take my own life instead. The opportunity came the very next morning; my father received a call from Vancouver and had to leave with my Stepmother and brother the same day. I refused to go with them and stayed at home by myself. They said that they would only be gone for two days but I only waited for 2 hours later for the coast to be clear. I then took out my own 22 rifle from behind my stereo system and loaded it. Holding it to my chin about to pull the trigger I suddenly heard another voice, but this voice was much different and very calm. “Jesus is alive!” I said “What?” “Jhe’shua whom you know as Jesus is ALIVE!” I then said, “If that is true, then PLEASE SAVE ME!” The same voice then said “Zenith 1234." I had know Idea what zenith 1234 was but I did know back then zenith had something to do with the phone. I then left the rifle loaded and placed it on my pillow while I was curious enough to find out what it was. Back in 1981 there was no such thing as 911 or 411. You had to dial “0” to talk to the operator. So I called “0” and the operator said “this is the operator, how should I direct your call?” I said “What is zenith 1234?” She said “Just a minute!” and immediately dialed me through. “Child's help line, how can I help you?” I spent the next 2 1/2 hours talking on the phone with a wonderful angel that literally saved my life that night. While talking on the phone, I was scribbling with a pen on the cover of the phone book without paying any attention to what I was doing. I really was going to kill myself that night but the police finally arrived to our home while I was still on the phone. Two officers showed up in separate cars. One of them safely collected my rifle as the other looked down at my phone scribbling and said "Nice artwork, Did you draw that?" I looked down and started freaking out as I saw it was a perfect drawing of a dragon's head. So the second officer calmed me down and brought me to his car. Once in the car, the evil and vile voices started once again. Approximately 25 minutes into our trip, multiple voices yelled at me in unison saying “Were going to kill you now!” and at that very moment a deer jumped out into the road in front of the speeding police car. I am truly fortunate to have had such a good driver, because we must have flew 5 feet into the air and land perfectly without incident. The officer then got out of his car and shot the deer in the head with his rifle, called it in and continued driving the rest of the journey to Kelowna General Hospital. The creator had another plan for me other than death. He said; “You are a warrior!” and he showed me that without pain and suffering, one could never gain any true strength. Just like a weight lifter needs to tear their muscles using weights to build new muscles, it is the same for strengthening the mind, the psyche and the spirit and soul. We go through allot but we gain so much strength. I made it through to the other side and now I am here to give back and give you the tools that worked for me and my journey! We don’t realize that our greatest strengths come from our greatest weakness. What I have learned is that God did not send his son here to be a babysitter and lick our wounds and cater to our neurosis. He sent him to show us that we have the power and the strength to overcome all things. We have a soul that sits near our heart chakra. Our soul explained to me is a real live star/sun and the evidence of our soul is the aura of energy we see under special lenses etc. Every sun has a negative core which is a black hole. When our star is continuously fed with negative energy from everything from food to poisons to toxic angry people, then it’s like throwing water on a fire and snuffing out the flame. Then you have the black hole being the most evident inside you and makes you become an energy vampire. The brighter our star, the brighter your life becomes. As your star shines bright, it then directly feeds the mitochondria of every cell in your body and balances out all of the vitamins, minerals, collagen in your system and begins to create more Hyaluronic Acid for the building blocks of life. I was shown a specific meditation from an actual face to face in this 3D body with Jhe’shua (The real Jesus). This is how he heals himself and others. So, in 2001 I finally completely healed myself through meditation from all of the 100+ voices that would never leave me alone! Eternal life happens now and not after death. Religions control the hearts and mind and he came to set all of us free! You are capable of reversing your age through the soul regenerating your mitochondria as all sickness and aging are one in the same! Raising the vibration and frequency of the soul will charge the mitochondria reversing the oxidization within all of your cells! He stood over his corpse 2000 years ago after arriving from the 2nd dimension (Hell) for 3 days and healed his physical body by increasing his own aura. In doing so, it replaced every cell in his body with healthy mitochondria. This is about meditation and not about any belief system. This is about becoming self empowered and learning to truly live life how it was always meant to be! My book “THE UN-REAL TRUTH!” get’s into our conversations concerning everything from who the father is, his life for these past 2000 years and how he will be saving this world through non violence! He talked about dimensions and time lines and how time itself is frequency. That every millisecond is its own tuned in radio station and a timeline or Eon is its bandwidth. If you would like to sit and talk about these please feel free to contact me! I want to emphasize here that meditation is truly the key to self healing, self awareness and allows one to truly begin to understand life here and beyond. It is about living in heaven without having to die first. All religions focus on the afterlife and completely lose sight of this life here and now! Jhe’shua came to set our minds and our hearts free. He did not come to control them and make slaves. He said the true Kingdom of God is in your heart! This kingdom is found within your SOUL and this soul is the real YOU! Focus on the REAL YOU! Love yourself through discipline and begin your journey of true healing through 1 hour of meditation a day. 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night. Stretch it out as long as you like! Ask me for guidance! Email me or come to my office for a chat. I’m here to help you in your healing journey! http://www.paulhalonen.com kahen.openmind@gmail.com
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Originally posted here: https://steemit.com/schizophrenia/@kah-len7/healing-the-mind-body-and-soul-through-meditation
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