How To Deal With Perfectionism: 6 Powerful Strategies

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https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmUra1vRZCUW3aV2ZSfCWVnHXryRXFfUK1mN9PkSWbHkx5/15%20perfekcjonizm.jpg Perfectionism is commonly seen as a desire to be perfect, a desire to make something exactly as it should be - perfect. It's a human attitude that puts accuracy in the highest place. Being a perfectionist can also manifest itself in other more subtle ways: you have to check something again; you procrastinate because you think that this is not the perfect time to start something; you read the email a few times before you send it to make sure it is error-free; you are always the first to notice the error and point out imperfections to others. In fact, perfectionism takes different forms and can be a blessing or a curse. Perfectionism is not just about trying to do everything you can to achieve a goal. It can also be a reflection of the inner self, which is sunk in fear. In other words, perfectionism can be born out of anxiety, concern, and doubt, not out of a simple basic desire to do things right. # Psychology of perfectionism

Why are some people perfectionists? There are several reasons why this personality trait is stronger in some people than in others and this is due to a certain psychological attitude. While some people accept and treat mistakes as lessons, perfectionists see them as personal flaws and take any failures very much to themselves. Mentally they blame themselves and feel a sense of failure - the same fear of failure from which perfectionism is born. Another source of perfectionism is the ego. Many people want everything to be perfect because they have a mentality of caring about what others think about them - they are afraid of being judged negatively if something does not meet certain standards. Your childhood experience can also develop perfectionism in your personality, especially if you have learned from your parents or guardians that you cannot be loved if you are not perfect. The child is to be an improved version of his or her parents, and has a duty to fulfill all their unrealized plans, dreams and aspirations. This can be transferred to your way of thinking about work and relationships in adult life. Of course, restrictive rules during school years can teach you at an early age that following rules is important and if you break them in any way or don't follow them it will work against you. Every error is severely assessed. The modern world supports perfectionism. The fast pace of life, the huge number of changes, the "rat race", competition and rivalry rule out any mistake, efficiency and effectiveness are absolutely necessary. Excessive perfectionism is sometimes referred to in psychology as a deviation that makes normal functioning practically impossible. # How does perfectionism get in your head?

Many people take comfort in being a perfectionist, but that perfectionism creates perfection is a common myth. One of the drawbacks of perfectionism is wasted time doing something seemingly perfect and actually makes you less productive. Spending more time doing something often to make it perfect can be an illusion. We think we're improving something, but this time is not necessarily a time for quality work and can be an obstacle to really valuable results. Let's assume, for example, that you were working on an important project for your department, which represented 20% of sales to the company and took you 4 months. While another colleague completed another project in one month, which represented only 7% of total sales to the company. Although it didn't immediately increase sales by 20% during that month, your co-worker had time to complete another project, which brought 28% of sales after 4 months. This is of course only a hypothetical example, but it is worth remembering that time is extremely important and that apparently better results at first glance do not have to be so after a more thorough analysis. It is also an example that a quick failure is sometimes better than a too slow success. When you lose quickly, you learn much more in less time, it prepares you for future success much earlier and this is what your perfectionism can prevent. You are afraid of risk, you delay and lose opportunities. It is not a matter of doing everything just to do it all, but of balancing how much effort you need to put into a given action in order not to waste time, to be able to react quickly to changing environments, to adapt and to learn from possible failures. # Here are 9 reasons how perfectionism can limit your success

There has been talk of wasting time and unnecessary delay. What else can perfectionism do? # 1. You never finish

Perfectionism is often associated with the fear of failure, which can increase delays. Perfectionism can reduce your productivity. For perfectionists with very high standards, a design may never be made because it does not meet the criteria for "perfection". As a result, you continue to work on the task, but never finish it. Think about it if you don't drag your work too much, because you think it's not good enough yet. Maybe it's a new website you're working on and you're delaying its publication, an email to a new client or an article that would help promote your business. Avoiding sharing your ideas, products, services and the results of your work in general delays or even can prevent your growth and negatively affect the development of your business. # 2. You are stressed and dissatisfied

Perfectionism is extremely stressful because you're always worried that not everything is perfect. Nothing is good enough and this way of thinking robs you of feeling fulfilled and satisfied with your work. Continuous focus on achievement and conditional self-esteem can have serious psychological and physical consequences, leading to feelings of anxiety, doubt and depression. # 3. You don't take risks

Although the seeming quest for perfection is wonderful, perfectionism, as already mentioned, is driven by an intense fear of failure. As a result, you often adopt a way of thinking "if I can't do it perfectly, I won't even try". As a result, you don't take on a new job, you give up a public appearance to which someone has invited you or cancel a meeting with a potential client because you think you are not ready enough. In fact, your fear of failure actually makes you fail and you are not successful. # 4. Your creativity suffers

If you keep emphasizing that you do something perfect and never fail, your imagination and creativity are stifled and limited. Innovation, which is necessary to make positive changes and success, is hindered by the perfectionist. # 5. You try to make everyone happy

As a perfectionist, you are often a man who likes and wants others to think well of him. By thinking "all or nothing" you see yourself as "good" if people like you and "bad" if they don't. Trying to please everyone to like you comes with a lot of difficulties in making decisions and avoiding important conversations, for fear of annoying someone and thinking badly about you. Therefore, your work and its quality often suffers from this approach. You may be overly defensive against any criticism that someone makes of you. # 6. You are very critical of others

Perfectionists are constantly judging and judging themselves. And because what we say is often reflected in the way we interact with other people, you probably also as a perfectionist constantly judge other people. You can openly point out what others are doing wrong or be more passive-aggressive by saying: "It must have been nice to be able to leave work on time and come home at 5:00 p.m. instead of sitting around after hours and finishing work." Excessive criticism of others makes relationships suffer. In addition, in professional life, a highly critical approach to others can reduce the productivity of the whole team, and this can lead to business failure. # 7. You can't delegate

Being a perfectionist often means that it is difficult for you to pass on, to delegate the task to others. With an "all or nothing" mentality, you most likely believe that there is the right way to do something that only you know and that all the different ways someone else can do will be wrong. And because other people don't always have the same understanding, you may not accept them. So you think it's easier to do it yourself. But not delegating when necessary can cause all kinds of problems for you, your company and increases your stress. # 8. You take everything to yourself

A perfectionist has conditional self-esteem, which means you believe in yourself - if everything goes perfectly, if people like you, if you do a good job. Listening to all kinds of negative opinions is quite difficult because you tend as a perfectionist to personalize them, thinking that something is either perfect or a failure. And then you go one step further: if you fail, I am a failure. This personalization makes it impossible to get the feedback you need for better quality, which can ultimately lead to real failure and failure. # 9. You never rest

![15 perfekcjonizm.jpg] Perfectionists often believe that they will rest when the work is done. Of course, the work is never done because it is never perfect enough. Therefore, there is an increased risk of burnout, work life and work imbalance, which is a sure way to fail for your company or career and your relationship with loved ones. # How To Deal With Perfectionism:

If you feel that your perfectionism is holding you back, maybe it's time to change your habits and way of thinking. There are several strategies you can use to change your perfectionism and increase your chances of success in life. # 1. Abandon the "All or nothing" attitude.

The common way of thinking about perfectionism is that you want to do something perfect or not at all. But the problem is to deny the importance of the process. Achieving perfection is based on the experience and insights gained through the process, so you can tune in and apply your experience to achieve future success. This, by the way, reduces the overall chance of failure, even though the perfectionist mind may try hard to deny it. Eliminate the word "perfect" from your dictionary. This can help you avoid thinking "all or nothing", which leads you to set impossibly high standards. # 2. Remember the 70% rule and the 80/20 rule.

Sometimes it is easy to ignore the essence of something when it comes to perfectionism, but as long as the essence is visible in what you do, you don't need 100% perfection. Often, just 70% is all it takes to be pretty good, and then you can make possible perfection and fine tuning. This way, with 70% of the work done, you can see virtually the entire end result. This helps you see potential problems and areas for possible improvement, if any, to do more. [The 80/20 rule ](https://perfect24hours.com/80-20-rule-time-management/) is good and worth remembering - only 20% of your efforts can yield 80% results. Anything above these key 20% may not matter much, and it also gives you more freedom to get to the details at a later date. # 3. Actively ask for positive feedback

Feedback is the perfectionist's worst nightmare. Obtaining both positive and negative feedback is most desirable. However, negative feedback is something that the perfectionist is already struggling with in his head, still aware of his shortcomings and imperfections. Therefore, regularly asking for positive feedback can help to counteract this negative thinking and get the mind used to the balance of opinions. # 4. Sorting "I must have" vs. "Good to have"

A lot of ideas can be great, unless perfectionism is your ball in the ointment. Priority is key here, but a perfectionist may find it difficult to skip and abandon ideas that he thinks should be included. However, this is detrimental to the quality of your work or project and can cause a delay or create additional pressure. Before starting any project, you should create a "I must have" and "Good to have" list. Make "I have to have" an absolute priority if you have enough time to do so. # 5. Celebrate your little winnings every day

The mind of a perfectionist leans towards the negative aspects, so writing down 3 everyday achievements can help to change this way of thinking to positive. Anything small from "I got up earlier than my alarm clock called today" to "I met a new and interesting person" can make the mind think about the positive aspects and diminish the negative. One study explains that this depends on certain chemicals interacting with our reward system in the brain, allowing us to feel a sense of fulfilment. This feeling motivates us to repeat the process to achieve it. Thinking about the positive aspects of everyday life, no matter how small, can literally train your brain to be more positive. # 6. Set realistic goals

Setting unrealistic goals is a definitive feature of the perfectionist, and it ends with a sense of inadequacy, because they can be difficult and sometimes even impossible to achieve. Let's say you're an actor who aims to become a Hollywood star within a year or wants to publish a bestselling book within the next 6 months, and you don't have any experience and the last thing you've written is an essay at school - while these goals might happen to be achieved, they're rather unrealistic and you might feel disappointed if you set yourself such goals and fail. Having certain goals is a wonderful thing, but raising the bar too high can cause a feeling of demotivation and discouragement. So set yourself ambitious goals, challenge yourself, but one that will drive you, not discourage you. # 7. Focus on the bigger picture

You can't always extinguish the perfectionist who is inside you, but you can become a "healthy perfectionist". You can do this with a bigger picture of the whole of what you want to achieve. Whenever you start to go into details and focus too much on the details of your project, ask yourself how much it will affect the end result. If it's only about 2%, then you have to let go. This is an example of opportunity costs, where there is a potential loss due to giving up other ways or possibilities, due to focusing on only one idea. Giving up certain elements that do not add too much value to the whole project can save you a lot of time and frees you up so that you can focus on a better end result. As you can see, perfectionism can be more a flaw than a virtue. Although there is nothing wrong with high standards, the constant pursuit of "perfection" can have a negative impact on your work, personal relationships and even your health. And what do you think of perfectionism? Is it an advantage or a disadvantage? Share your opinion.
Originally posted here: https://steemit.com/life/@przemkom/how-to-deal-with-perfectionism-6-powerful-strategies